life and work continues to be shiiiiiiiiiity and will probably be the same in the future here. the weather is pushing everything happening fast.

friends told me to muddle along. co-worker told me it's only business and it's never personal.

and u know what? the worst part is that i have to put up with all these nasty things and i can't take it blooooooooooody personal.

please, i can't hold everything together anymore.

    有一股难以明状的迷恋。。。。。。

 

    好吧，最近有那么一点烦和那么一点贱。。。。。。

life really sucks recently.

horoscope says that Leo will rock & roll this year, but I haven't feel any yet.

thing is there's something I cannot tell. not to anyone.

hope everything will turn good in the later half of this year.

最近，学校闹事的好多，办公室政治越来越精彩，本人即将被某法国老太给作死……最要紧的是，阿拉要交学费了呀，可要命的是学校资金流动近来灰常困难，阿拉不得不先想办法筹措垫付了。。。

唔～～～～我需要钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱。。。。

连着六天频繁刷新交大安泰学院网站后，今天终于公布复试结果。

哦耶，我拟录取了哈，政审和体检没问题的话，就等六月通知书了。

看来：1.阿拉果然撞大运，笔试碰上教育部大乌龙；2.面试那天boss他老人家瞎编又快递的推荐信果然有效；3.总要表扬一下自己，阿拉表现还算登台面哈。

接下来就是漫长的等待录取通知书的过程了。。。

昨天面试终于结束，一周内就会出结果。

面试比我想象地要正常些，没尽出很变态的问题。网上有很多北大、清华、复旦等名校历年面试题目之类的信息，可搜了半天就是没交大的，鉴于此，阿拉就来贡献一下自己的面试经历，回头有人若想考交大，也好有参考意义，这叫我不入地狱谁入地狱哈，就算没被录取，也能留下实质性意义呀……

昨天分了上下午两批面试，我是下午的。通知说12：15前到，我差不多12点到的，已经排起了长队。

大家排队核对身份、邮寄地址和封手机，然后进入会议厅等候核实学历和抽组号。等了好半天，才轮到我，结果那老师在我专科学历上纠结了半天，硬是要我拿专科毕业证书，僵持了半天，好在后来说我有学位证书，就给pass过去了。抽了号就坐着等面试了。

我抽的是5组6号。领座老师把若干组内的相同号都领到一块坐。

我很紧张。

妈的，太煎熬了，终于等到老师把我们一群人带出去，带到了另一幢楼，继续等。

很久之后，有人通知我们上楼去英语面试，我来到门口，等着里面的人结束。前面的姐姐出来后，我刚想推门进去，被工作人员阻止了，叫我等等，考官会叫我进去的，2分钟过后，一个老外过来开门，灰常有亲和力地让我进去。先是递身份证验证，然后抽题。我想着，千万别问恶心的专业问题，不然我就say i don't know。结果人家问我说，你小时候有没有在大众广庭之下看人跳舞，我鬼使神差地答yes，然后大家就开始聊跳什么舞呀、后来有发生什么呀、艺术教育呀、你有没有enjoy呀、你有没有学过乐器啊之类的，后来又问道阿拉工作拉，我除了过分紧张，然后瞎编了一些经历，其他都还好吧……

出来后我来到上一层楼等待中文个面，就像游戏机里一级一级打boss一样哈。

又是很久之后，有人来带我们去中文面试教室，我在我得教室外等了会，里面的人出来后，我问可以进去了吧，他说，过会敲下门吧，我重重地敲了几下，么有反应，或者我紧张地根本没听见。等了好久，刚出来那人估计也不耐烦了，说你再敲啊，这回终于有人很清晰地说进来了。

这回有三个面试官，左边那个很阴，中间那个挺胖、看上去挺正值，右边那个很年轻很和善，后来每次回答问题中，他都会很友善地点头微笑，不管你的回答有多silly哈。在此验证身份证。先是让我自我介绍了一下，我就把先前准备地英文版本备译了下。那仨人统统低头在翻我地材料，估计也没听到我在讲什么。讲完之后冷不丁地问我我们年营业额是多少？我咯噔了一下，我有些记忆，但我还是灰常不可思议地犯傻着说，上回写的好像是×××万吧……天哪，讲完我就只想找洞钻。估计这类问题就是来核实一下你地材料是否真实。接下来无非就是我工作上地问题，我地工作任务拉，公司考评我地标准拉，我为什么想考MBA拉，今后规划拉，还有貌似是压力面试地问题，比如我们找地一个资历丰富地老师突然上不了课了，我会怎么做？如果老师和学生之间有矛盾了我会怎么做？等等。我走得时候，就听到考官说，这个小姑娘怎么样怎么样，没听清，估计就在说我太嫩哈……

最后来到大教室里寻找咱一组的战友汇合。大家互相认识了下，然后商定说，待会话别多，一起演一场和谐的戏就行。

这次等待时间最长了，后来我们又来到先前那教室进行小组面试，即辩论。题目是“强化英语教育完全有/没有必要”，我们是正方。还好不是case  study。先是小组讨论，然后陈述，然后辩论，然后总结。不晓得是我们发言时间太短，还是规定每人发言次数太少，总之原本16分钟辩论的时间，我们10分钟就结了。

呼，终于结束了。此时已经要5点了。

面试结束后，咱小组成员一起出去吃饭，然后我发现，自己年龄最小，经验最少，该死的笔试分数最低，真是绝望拉！

到此为止，本人首次考MBA经历就算磕磕碰碰结束了，就酱紫了。

今年因为综合考试中的那个乌龙失误，让整个分数线的公布都显得灰常滴扑朔迷离。

各院校的分数线原定于本月20号公布，结果20号那天在关于MBA的论坛里只看到复旦的分数线，若以复旦的综合小分来作我的参考，我很有被刷的危险，后来收到交大发的短信，让考生上网查相关信息，结果公布的消息是说要延缓出分数线，只公布了复试的流程和日期，很大路的消息。我犹豫着是否要准备面试，就怕自个儿准备了半天，结果连分数线都没上。后来继续逛论坛，有人说经过推测，只有上分数线的考生会收到交大的短信，我将信将疑。第二天，抱着一探究竟的心态，我狂打交大电话（因为该死的电话号码怎么也拨不通，机器留言也听不清），果然后来接电话的老师问有没有收到短信，我说有，老师说那就按照指示准备面试吧。天，这么暗示上线的考生也太玄了吧！一边庆幸自己终于上线，一边担心自己面试会怎样糗，周末疯狂搜集面试可能出现的问题，但如果是很变态地案例讨论的话，我就会死的很惨呐……妈的，我啥都不晓得，你要跟我谈谈H&M跟其他大牌设计师的crossover合作之类的，我还能掰掰，你要问我“上海作为金融中心，制造业要不要放弃”之类的问题，我就只有蹲墙角去了。

今天交大终于公布复试分数线，A线是总分不低于185，英语不低于65，好险，没设综合分数线，阿拉总分也就186。

我就趁着这次教育部的乌龙失误，幸运地上了复试线，如果能过面试，说明真的很走大运，如果没有阿拉就放弃MBA。根据经验，我第一次的表现总是最好的。

面试是4月1日愚人节，索性就让这个游戏继续荒唐到底吧，哈哈……

    考分公布了，分数是三月五号查到的，不算好，可是客观讲，跟自己预想的也差不多，反正也就临时准备了这么点，考成这样不错了拉……

    现在焦虑地等待交大的复试分数线，每天N次刷新交大安泰经管学院的网页。

    碰到boss，他老人家灰常关心本人的录取情况，俺说，能不能参加复试是首要问题，就算能参加复试，听说人家招MBA的本来就是找有钱有势的高管，这样才能多收钱嘛，像咱这样的，要经验没经验，要钱没钱的，穷光蛋一个，人家怎么可能更大程度地敛财呢……他老人家若有所思地点点头，说，这个有可能的嘛，怎么样，咱们走走后门吧，你那不是说谁谁谁认识啥啥啥教务的，要不请吃个饭去，时间不多了，咱们要抓紧啊……

    啊，我要走后门，走后门嘛！还有，面试这都啥变态题目啊！

RT

    老板要开除一外教，CY，我在22号那天和她摊的牌，她哭着跑开了。

    23号继续和她谈，CY认为我或者说学校做的太过分，不肯签我们的mutual release of employment contract。compensation package当然没以行规来做，但既然是学校的意思，我只得很nasty的以签证来要挟她，她哭着把“不平等条约”给签了，拿了钱和其他文件走掉了。

    离开学校时，门口碰到她男友堵着，质问我们的做法，幸亏另一名外教，LY帮我倘掉，否则真不知道怎么脱身。

    可是，当我在惆怅自己是否过于nasty，同时又安慰自己说，外面有多少企业单位是比我更nasty的时候，boss来电，说他问了LI（他亲戚，现在学校上课）办公室里其他外教的反应，责备我先前没有给清晰的警告，说的话也太模棱两可，以至于落下话柄，话语权落在了其他观望的外教手上。

    我到底应该怎么做，按照指示做不是，没有指示时不做更不是，你要是觉得我做事不稳妥，可以随时随地从线人那获得信息，又或者直接找个更tough的人算了。

    究竟是这份工作太难，还是我太笨？

   

i was asked to tell a French teacher that her contract would be termintated for next semester, shortly speaking, she was sacked. will have to continue to work on that tomorrow and wait to see how big the repercussion will be in the office.

this job has become tougher and tougher.

can i have a proper and peaceful short break just before the beginning of the holidays?

school had the graduation show as usual on monday. the show itself was fine. everyone, or almost everyone, worked very hard on it. what really pissed me off was what happened after the show.

we sent boxes of clothes back to the room where we stored all the stuff. all the graduates followed us to the room. both of us agreed to keep half of their work before the show, if not all. but they didn't care. they just wanna take them all back, no matter what we agreed on before. so we had a fight, with the graduate and their parents. fine, i was just too naive to trust these people. they had their family and friends, so they took the clothes and tucked them into their own bags. i could only watch.

this was not the worst. the more nasty thing was something after. now they got their clothes. only a few left their work. we had to clean the room and packed the rest of the stuff and moved them to the truck. i walked out of the room, asking the graduates to wait. the diploma would be given to them after the room was cleaned. but they didn't accept. they said they wanted it now. they didn't care where they were given the diploma. bastards, you were in no position to demand i give the diploma now. i didn't say that of course. instead, i tried to be patient to them. but they kept shouting. a girl's boyfriend joined in them to fight with me. he was a graduate from our school too. he won a design prize before, with the help from school, i should say. what the f*ck are you thinking you are? a genius? a talented young desiger? just because you won a prize and just because you were a little bit better than those who were under average? anyway, he was really annoying. i can't help shouting back at him finally, shut your bloody mouth up, u have already graduated, so don't get yourself involved in it. before he said anything, his girlfriend's family all fired back at me, including her little sister. what a bloody little monster! i had put up with her for so long.  i can't stand it anymore. so i asked her to shut up too and said, just because you were much younger than me, doesn't mean you can do and say whatever you want. so keep quiet. 

all these dramas kept on and on and on. i had no support, neither did i have the energy to argue with these bastards. i walked back, leaving those people behind, cursing at me. after the room was cleaned. they filed in and i gave the diploma to them. but i regret one thing. when i gave the diploma, i should have said, this is not what you earned, but what you robbed; you are not only destroying your graduation day, a day which is supposed to be one of you most memorable days, but are also destroying others'.

god, what a day, full of dramas. i always think, our school is not a fashion school, but a "drama school".

 

    今天考试回来的路上，移动电视里就在放全国硕士生联考的报道，引得我格外注意。MD，今年报考交大的人数比去年同期增长超过30％呀。更绝的是，今天考试考掉三分之二的时候，监考老师说，同学们，刚才有通知说，第二大题有问题，不用做了。大家疑惑地问什么第二大题啊？监考老师说，我也不知道，通知是这么说的。最后，考试要结束的时候说，就是那十道充分性判断题不要作了，不算分。其实，多数同学已经把前面的这十道充分性判断题做完了。于是，大家在那里狂叫怎么这样，有没有补时间之类的。中午吃饭的时候，食堂里几乎所有人都在讨论这个“漏题干门事件”（因为做充分性判断题之前会有五个选项标出，这次明显就漏掉了。）

     其实这种纰漏对于我这种纯粹靠懵题的人来说，也没什么机会可趁，答对的题数就像概率题一样，是不受时间多还是少影响的，只与我当日的运气有关。不过，今天我答题速度贼快，终于把卷面统统涂满，完成了我今天考试的最大目标，也许跟我抱着死也要把题目填满的信念有关吧。回家上网本想查什么时候出分数线的，结果发现，叫骂声一片啊。对于同是从事教育工作的我来说，阿拉拉对出题组是深表同情滴，哈哈。因为阿拉平时做教务就问题一大堆，尤其最近咱学校也在期末考试，那个真叫乱哟，加上成心捣乱者的破坏活动……

     总之，我今天考试还算顺利，接下来就看阿拉额过头有多高，懵对的题数够不够上分数线了……

 

题外话：

侯考的时候，读《生涯一蠹鱼》，摘抄部分文字内容，权当书签——

六十年代探索生命的“波西米亚”被误解为八十年代追求生活的“布尔乔亚”，不能不说是村上最大的悲哀，即时这种悲哀为他带来了旋风式的财富。

这个世界上，有些民族天生就是会说故事，象意大利人，象犹太人。当然，更不能忘记的是那些迷死人的拉丁美洲小说家。加西亚·马尔克斯当然是一把好手。可是更有趣的应该是写起小说象在拍电影，信手拈来都是故事，本身经历就充满戏剧性的马里奥·巴尔加斯·略撒。

顺便说一句，《生涯一蠹鱼》很好，很多文人八卦呀……

为期两个月的MBA复习迎考班学习终于结束，经过三次模考，俺的综合卷终于从零分飞跃到能拿一半的分数拉。不过从贴在教室里的成绩表来看，天哪，强人贼多呀，妈的，大家怎么不去考复旦呀。。。。

一月份就要正式考试了，我的目标是要把卷子全部涂满，阿拉相信只要卷子涂满，我就能pass，可是，倒目前为止我还从没能把题目全部答完过，要是英语和综合能一起该多好呀，我就能把英语省下的时间贴在综合上了呀。。。。。

希望在本人本命年结束之前，能让我至少交到一次好运呀，拉拉拉。

 

first, can anyone tell me how to add in tag? seems it doesn't work now. or it's my problem?

 

gave up the pre-interview from Jiao Tong University today. partly because was too fatigued to go for it, mainly because am such a coward to stay with group of people for almost two hours, not knowing what to say. feel so patheic and sad when the teacher from the university called asking why i'm not coming. i know am not good at these managerial talking, but can hold on for 20 minutes or half an hour at most. if i will humiliate myself for two hours, then just quit. hope still can pass the exam in january and can take the last chance for interview later. from now on, will only read The Economic Observer and 21 century business herald, only watch Channel CBN, only browse the finance column in each website.... any suggestion on Economics and Management is welcomed.

 

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, dear economics, i will make friends with you.

 

God bless me!

从八月份打消跳槽的意念后，就一直忙啊忙，忙到现在，永无止境……

八月，奥运期间，成天提心吊胆地要把一批外国人弄进国内，像偷渡似的，还屁颠屁颠地去读托福。结果后来开了学，外教还是没有到齐，就这么破罐子破摔地开了学。

九月，学是爹爹跄跄地开了，老师也陆陆续续地来了。然后找房子、签合同、体检、办证，还要想着怎么安排老师上课，这日子过得像是走钢丝似的。今年学校来了个超级大帅哥老师，长得是又年轻又好看，还是我们这小朋友们最喜欢的法国银（说得像幼儿园姐姐似的），于是，本学期的出勤率终于有了质的飞跃，恩，可以把这点写进我的年度业绩汇报。只不过，帅哥老师过于时尚，总喜欢把裤子提在胯部以下，恰到好处地露出即将呼之欲出的小PP的边缘，引得学校女生们天天想入非非，可是上课让做翻译的我很不自在啊。有时，听他讲话一不小心我的眼光就落到了下面；再有时，帅哥老师弯腰去拾粉笔时，天哪，那裤子简直是直线下滑，直到露出近四分之一的PP，当然了，人家小内裤穿的是又严实又紧密的。我不断祈祷，拜托，别掉了，您就提一下吧，再提一下吧……

十月，考了托福，天，我好怀念考试的感觉呀，我真他妈的变态；参加若干趴涕，第一次醉醺醺地提着高跟鞋回家，Halloween Party上有碰到drag queen哈，就是扮的很不好看咧，我果然不是party animal很早就回家鸟；其他么，就是在老板的忽悠下和老姐同志的煽动和推销下，终于决定申请交大MBA，然后准备中国版的GMAT（某同学，你猜的没错，我读了考纲，明确说了我们的MBA联考就是拷贝人家GMAT滴），然后月末，报冲刺班，参加模考，结果综合考试交了白卷……

十一月，今天，一早赶到交大，付费进行现场报名，然后继续上联考冲刺班，经过上周的模考后，我决定放掉英语，全力攻克综合。今天一连上了6小时的逻辑，我觉得好无望呀，也许我本该选个上大或华东师大算了的，可是，我有名校情节，我做梦都想上复旦交大、哈佛耶鲁、牛津剑桥的。老师在课间说了数个博士生和研究生过老死的事例，鼓励我们要拿出人家一半的精神和心血，千万不要多，只要一半，我想知道自己怎么才能不那么犯困？

刚才查了托福成绩，终于出来了，比我预想的好，可是没达到我要的目标，最可恶的是居然在口语上失手，写作上没能正常发挥，重要的是没能向昂立要奖学金。两年里，我该拿这张成绩单做什么用呢？

剩下两个月，有点回到高考前的感觉，我有点兴奋，也挺烦恼和烦躁，接下来是题海的两个月，拉拉……

 

the whole visa thing for new foreign teachers is killing me now. everything is difficult in the Olympic period. keep checking and guessing what will work for the government and what will not to get the visa.

school is always desperate for teachers. things are even worse this year.

all i can say now is, thank god, at least, it is a good opening ceremony......

 

 

i don't feel very well these days. i mean, mentally. something very disturbing and annoying. what upset me is i cannot find what was really happening.

the thing is, as partly an assistant, partly an unofficial director in Pedagogy, i asked one of our teacing assistants, who graduated from the school i worked for and who helped and observed in the foreign teachers' classes, to write me a report about how the classes are going so far, about the teaching and the students' feedback. she gave it me last week. and the next day, i saw another print-out lying quietly on one of the foreign teacher's desk, exactly the same as the one she gave to me. i said nothing and walked back to my office. later, another foreign teacher came to my office, asking for sth else and suddenly "by the way" me,"do you know the incident yesterday that a piece of report in chinese with some foreign teachers' names on it was printed out accidently? and they asked someone to translate." i asked him who then translated the report. he didn't tell me, which is of course natural. i couldn't find out whether it was an accident or someone did it on purpose. if it was on purpose, was this done by the teahing assistant or the student or someone else. so i ignored it.

today, i went to the foreign teachers' office and handed out some kind of self-evaluation paper. and everyone was being very sarcastic and laughed at me, asking what use was these papers for, since there was already an internal evaluation and XXX (teaching assistant) was already asked to give a report on them. at that particular moment, i was very pissed off and felt like bing trapped. "do you want to make it such a fuss or drama? this is an evaluation required by shanghai university (of course, i throw everything on the mysteriours shanghai universtiy). i don't want to make it a secret, but that doesn't mean i need to report every detail of the evaluation to you" i said. but they just kept laughing and joking. well, i'm so silly, they just don't care. why do i have to take it so seriously.

we've got goofy system and goofy staff and goofy students here. how more goofy can't i expect?

太神奇了，刚刚非常鬼使神差地去了下自己n久之前做的傻冒网站，没想到居然还存在……因为我是购买空间的，然后已经有一年多没付钱给server了，所以看到居然还完好地存在，非常兴奋，不过下一秒就在想：该死的server，原来不付钱这小网也可以继续存在的，你们这样也太坑人了吧！

P.S. 某同学，这傻窝也有你一角啊，你也去看一下奇迹吧（我感动地直想感叹，生活真是奇妙啊）